get a job

"Why don't you go get a job?"

You may have heard this said to you. Or thought this. Or said this.

Have you ever thought about what is involved in getting and keeping a job --I mean really thought about it? Likely, if you're saying it, you have a job. How did you get it? How do you keep it? Likely, if you've heard it, you don't have one and feel awful about yourself because someone basically just told you you're lazy and, therefore, a Bad Person.

Let's look at it a different way today ...

Here is a short list of potential barriers to employment:

• Lack of available positions (because they've gone to countries with no workers' protections or to Amazonian robots)
• Lack of meaningful positions (ten hours a week at minimum wage? Thank you! I can certainly live off that while you count me in your employment figures!)
• Disability ("But disabled people can work!" you say. Yes, they can --quite well. Insert long statement about lack of understanding about things like structured employment, reasonable accommodations, and what disability actually looks like. Now look around at society and the way it functions and let's have a real discussion about employment and disability.)
• Formerly incarcerated status (even after you've paid your debt to society, it's hard to reintegrate in all kinds of ways, which brings us to ...)
• Lack of previous experience/gaps in employment history (ex-felons and stay-at-home moms have something in common --never mind the ex-felon stay-at-home moms!)
• Lack of transportation (you see, you don't get paid right away, and somehow, you have to make it there on schedule.)
• Lack of education (not everyone has a degree or training. "Well, go get one!" That takes time and availability of programs --oh yeah, and money.)
• Lack of support (communities have been whittled away by a number of factors; there may be no family around prior to said magical job-getting experience; somehow, the loudest people who show up are the ones yelling, "Get a job!" Makes people feel motivated, no?)
• Lack of self-esteem (see previous parenthetical statement) 

Criticizing doesn't help. It's easy. Taking away support doesn't help --it's also easy. In the meantime, the people receiving the criticism and trying to make do without things like healthcare, food, and housing are not just suffering. The word "suffering" is easy --it's vague. People are losing their senses of self-worth, their health, their homes, and, in some cases, their lives in very concrete and preventable ways.

This is not meant to be a hopeless blog post. That's the whole point: it is not hopeless. All of the above things mentioned are things that can be addressed. It's going to take a little bit of change within each one of us. Those of us who are not willing to change because it doesn't affect them or theirs (yet) need a little extra help in this area. Inform them at length about what's going on until they do something just to get you to shut up about it already.

For starters, if you are an asker of questions, instead of asking, "Why don't you go get a job?" in that tone of voice that means you've already decided what the answer is and it's not a good one, try changing the tone of voice. Ask, "Why don't you go get a job?" and listen to the answers. 

If you are unemployed or underemployed, think about that list and where you fit on it. What support do you need? Do you know what you need? Is it available? If you're not sure, do you know who or where to talk to start to figure it all out?

A person is not his or her employment status. If that were the case, then kids would be worthless, right? And they're not. No one is worthless. It's all a matter of looking at things a little differently.

Have a great day today.

ignoring the elephant

Not the pet wild elephant from the earlier post --different elephant. This one's about the elephant in the room.

You know the one: it's humongous, yet no one wants to address it. To address it would mean potentially being rude, or worse, what if it gets angry, or even worse, what if there's nothing that can be done about it. What if you are destined to have that elephant in the room with you taking up all the breathing space? What then?

I'm not sure, to be honest, but I do know that ignoring it doesn't make it go away. And what if you are rude? What if it gets angry? What if there's nothing that can be done about it (more on that in a moment)?

I do know from both personal and professional experience that the earlier the elephant is addressed, the better. Have I always confronted elephants? No. Not what I meant by having experienced it. I have both confronted elephants head on and avoided them, and I know based on that experience, it's better to confront --better yet, ask nicely and firmly if it would please move --early and clearly. It's a much less stuffy room after that.

What if you confront the elephant in the room and nothing changes? Perhaps the elephant is comfortable. Perhaps the elephant is too large. Perhaps (worst case scenario) the elephant is on a power trip and enjoys causing you discomfort.

In that situation, I say this: elephants are mortal, too.

What you lack in size, make up for in numbers --seek help.

Tenacity and sheer stubbornness can be helpful, as well.

Do not get bogged down in the idea that the situation will never change because situations always change, so combine your diligence with patience (sometimes things don't change as quickly as you'd like!).

When you find a strategy that seems to work, stick with it; adapt as needed, but not so much that you can't figure out what about it was helpful.

And every little bit counts. You can get a trunk through the door today? Well, okay then! Shift that trunk.

I used words like 'confront' in there. If it is a case of an elephant who is willing to work with you, honor that and use compassion in the process, both towards yourself and towards the elephant. But those mean elephants? You know the ones I'm talking about. 'Confront' is the appropriate word. Show compassion afterwards.

And speaking of compassion, I'll try to avoid using elephants as stand-ins for things humans have trouble with in future blog posts --not that I'll be ignoring them, but you know what I mean.